Words Can and Will Come Back to Haunt you. (Oct.12 blog)

Have you ever seen an old photo of yourself and been embarrassed at the way you looked? Did we actually dress like that? Well yeah we did and to matters worse, we had no clue as to how silly we looked. Dressing oddly gets you laughed at, can get you fired, ostracized, imprisoned, or even killed. It's the nature of fashion to be invisible, just like we are unaware that the earth moves but is invisible to all of us riding on it. That’s a haunting thought.

If I could travel back in a time machine, one thing would be true no matter where I went: I would have to watch what I said. Opinions we consider harmless could cause big trouble. I've already said at least one thing that would have gotten me in big trouble in most of Europe in the seventeenth century, and did get Galileo in major trouble when he said it-- that the earth moves. It took him centuries before poor old Galileo was forgiven for what he was right about and had the courage to talk about!

There are times that you should just hush up and keep your opinions to yourself just as there are times when you should bite the bullet and speak up and for some people that is where the hard part begins. How do you know when you should speak what is on your mind and how do you determine when to keep your mouth shut and your thoughts to yourself? I have struggled with that daily all of my life and there are days when I just throw caution to the wind and ‘let ‘er rip!’

So here are some examples of things that I think should not be said.

If someone has lost their full time job, as I did back in March, don’t say ‘everything happens for a reason’ or ‘don’t take it personally’ or my personal favorite, ‘Don’t worry. You’ll find something right away.’ Guess what? I did take it personally and jobs don’t grow on trees just like money doesn’t.

Having trouble with customer service at a business or a medical facility etc? Don’t go in and tell them that you will never shop, come there again, etc. They don’t care because it means they won’t have to deal with you again. Don’t go in cursing, accusing, badgering. (See the statement before) don’t go in and threaten to get them fired or threaten bodily harm (they have just called security on you and you will be goose stepped out of the business) and don’t threaten them with a lawyer because they will go into CYA mode and clam up and ignore you from them on!

Recently I was working some store resets with another woman and at one of our last stops, the chains District Manager was present. He watched us as we were doing the reset and asked my work partner how much longer she was going to continue to work. We thought it a bit strange until he asked when her baby was due. Men! Not all women with tummies are pregnant. Some of us are over weight and are aware of it.

Another example of what not to say happened to me years ago when I was in a meeting with a school administrator. I was not happy with a situation involving my daughters at school. The administrator made the remark that “parents didn’t always know what was right for their child” implying that he, as a school teacher and administrator knew more about raising a child than I did. He later said he knew he had blown that meeting the second those words left his mouth. I pulled my daughters out of school a month later and homeschooled them for the next 8 years.

I like to keep abreast of the goings on in local city government. At a recent city board meeting, some questions were posed to the mayor and after a heated discussion the mayor said, “I think…I think…I am a lawyer and I think I understand that ordinance a lot better than you do.” Now my question is does he think because he has a law degree that he is smarter than most people? Since I have heard that statement before I think he really does think he is superior to others and that is sad because he is not the only person that has an education or better yet that has common sense and intelligence which counts a lot more than a sheep skin parchment hanging in a study.

A disabled child was attacked by a couple of bully’s at school and no one from the school called the mother to tell her. The mom found out when her child came home from school with a knot on his head. When confronted, school officials said they had taken care of the situation. A child is attacked on school property during school hours and no one called the parent? That is definitely a time that someone should have spoken out. Bully’s have no place in our schools and the schools should not perceived as trying to downplay the incident. Parents have the right to know when things happen immediately.

Saying the things that we think can be taboo at times. So we just have to pick and choose and analyze each situation before speaking. Just like those horrendous fashion and hair faux pas of our younger days, everyone has an opinion and in America we have the freedom to express it. We just need to be careful in each instance and express it the proper way so things won’t be misunderstood. Words have a way of coming back to haunt us.