My Name is Corn Bread Junior and I'm Hongry

Vonda’s Views
March 28, 2010

The Great Spring Break Road Trip of 2010

The people that followed my ‘tweets’ of our Spring Break Trip to the west coast and back have been asking for more details of the trip. You know, little things, like would I travel by bus again, and was the trip really fun or did I just make it sound that way. Then there is the question of WHY did we do it straight through like we did.

Would I do it again? Yes yes yes I would and YES I would do it on the GreyHound Bus. Not that it was all glamorous or that I was sitting in the lap of luxury. It was just a great way and an economical way for us to take Anna to across the USA and to see as much of it as we could in 9 days.

There were all sorts of things that happened to us that I found amusing as well as semi alarming but it was also things that were eye-opening experiences for us.
Take for instance, our arrival in Dallas, Texas where we were to transfer to the Los Angeles bound bus; just before we pulled into the bus terminal, our driver began giving us instructions on picking up our luggage and taking it with us to the next bus and telling us how long we would be waiting before we departed on the next leg of the trip. He also told us that even though there is security in the bus terminals, not to leave our luggage unattended as the occasional homeless person or panhandler would come in and start begging for money. His advice was to not give them money, ignore them and call security over. He said sometimes they really were not homeless, just deadbeats looking for an easy target.

We were standing in line with our luggage waiting for the new bus when all of a sudden we heard this voice coming out of the crowd, “My name is Corn Bread Junior and I’m homeless and hongry! Will you give me a couple of dollars so I can get me some food?” Most everyone took one look at the guy and thought uh oh! Ole Corn Bread looked a mess. He had matted hair, was dragging one leg like it was injured or deformed and holding one arm like it was useless, nasty clothes and smelled to high heaven but I noticed his teeth and he had some pretty good teeth that he was flashing around so I was skeptical.

He disappeared into the crowd as the Security guards started looking his way. Soon we heard his voice again, “My name is Corn Bread Junior and I’m Homeless and sleepy and I need a couple of bucks to pay the Salvation Army so I can go get a bed and sleep.” Then he had a cup he would stick in your face and shake at you. I told him I didn’t have any cash on me. By this time, his body odor was really starting to get to people.

Our eyes were watering and some of us were trying to see how long we could hold our breath before having to inhale again. Then he made his final appeal, “my name is Corn Bread Junior and I’m homeless and I need to take a bath!” That one worked because she smelled like he had rolled in Catfish Charley and then got sprayed by a skunk! People were digging for pocket change and anything else they might have handy to put in his cup so that hopefully he would drag his smelly personage away from the terminal.

After he collected his ‘bath money’ he left and some of the folks stood watching him as he left. Sure enough, when he was out of the building, ole Corn Bread Junior started using the bad arm and hand to count his money and his bum deformed leg started walking straight and without a limp. He had seen his target and made the bull’s eye and some honest trusting people became skeptical cynics that morning.