Burma Shave signs and showing my age!

Blogging from Bruce
Vonda Keon

September 7, 2008

This is going to show my age!
Remember the Burma Shave signs that used to be on spaced on along the road sides? They sort of went by the wayside as cars got to where they could travel faster and they were replaced with big ugly bill boards. During my morning drive to work in Oxford each day, I have time to think and ponder about other people that are driving on along the highways and several of those old Burma Shave slogans come to mind..

Proper DistanceTo him was bunk They pulled him outOf some guy's trunk
That one goes to the people that ride my bumper. I drive a huge white whale of a van. It does NOT stop on a dime. I have to plan pretty far down the road when I am going to stop that heavy vehicle. And I am sorry but I drive 55 MPH. I set my cruise on that big ole V-10 and I don’t care how much you think you are going to intimidate me into going faster, it ain’t happening. I cannot tell you how many times I have to hold my breath some days when people are riding my bumper on Highway 9W. The rule of thumb on that road is if you can see a car waiting to pull out on the highway, chances are they will do it and just about cause you to have to hit them or the nearest ditch. So to all you folks out there, if you see a big white van in front of you, don’t ride my bumper. I’m not going any faster than the speed limit, I can’t stop it on a dime, and I really don’t want to peel you off of the back door of that thing!

Passing cars When you can't seeMay get you A glimpse Of eternity
Oh yeah. I am constantly amazed at how many people pass on curves and going up a hill. Doesn’t anyone remember what those yellow lines on painted on the highway mean? Don’t pass Stupid. What really eats my lunch is the jerk that rides my bumper and then passes me on a hill only to travel about a half mile up the road until they turn! And what is the deal with swerving into the wrong lane and traveling in it for a while until you finally get to the road you are turning on? This is America not Europe. We drive in the right hand lane not the left. I have many special thoughts about those drivers; none of which can be printed in a public paper!

Dim your lightsBehind a carLet folks seeHow bright you are
Saturday evening, I was called back into work because it was my week as Team Leader and the weekend nightshift person called in sick. So I had to cover the 11pm to 7am shift. I quickly got ready for work, stopped at Sonic for a large Caramel Java Chiller and I headed out to work. It was 10 pm so I had plenty of time to get to Oxford and punch the clock at 11pm. It should have been a quiet drive. I was keeping my eyes peeled for the green glint of light from the deer that were munching the grass in the roadside ditches. My deer whistles really work. They hear me, look up and stand still. It’s like they are thinking, “If I don’t move she won’t notice me!” I just pray they keep standing still and not suddenly jump in front of me. I’ve hit one deer in my driving lifetime. That was one time enough for me.

What I really hate are the new halogen head lights. Coming toward me, they are very intense but coming up behind is murder on the retina. I have automatic mirror controls and I have gotten pretty good at redirecting the head lights back into the bumper hugger’s car. I can always tell when they finally get that reflection back in their face. They will dim their lights. But then they pass on the hills and curves too. Go figure.

Yep, those little signs are a thing of the past but they could still be quite timely today.

Farewell O verse, Along the road. How sad to see, You're out of mode.Burma Shave