Monday, October 06, 2008

Where's the Beef?

Blogging from Bruce
Vonda Keon
October 7, 2008

I was walking across the parking lot at the Piggly Wiggly in Bruce last week when I heard someone call my name. I looked around to see who was hollering at me and a man drove up to me and said he wanted me to do some investigative reporting. I just laughed at that thought. Me? Investigative reporting? Nahhh. I write more on the side of thought provoking entertainment…..I hope.

At any rate, my curiosity was piqued so I asked him just what did I need to be doing an expose’ on. He said just two words. “Angus Beef”. I knew the second he said it that I would have to do it because I have long wondered about it myself. Just what the heck is the deal with Angus Beef and what have we been eating all these years. Chopped liver? Or perhaps I should say beef jerky?
What is Angus beef, and why is it suddenly such a big deal? Who was Angus and why did he highjack my steaks and burgers? Can I Lojack my trusty sirloins and New York strip steaks or am I doomed to have to purchase this high priced beef when the craving for red meat flings itself upon me? Certified "Angus beef" seems to be all the rage these days. Is it just a buzzword, or is it as something distinguished as the commercials would have me believe?
Why is it that we are inundated with commercials and posters and bill boards touting the wonders of Angus Beef? I walk into Burger King and thank goodness I don’t see that creepy big headed Burger King guy but there are all the signs that say Angus Beef Burgers are better. Go to McDonalds and Ronald has his dollar menu up there and then the premium Angus Burgers. And they sure aren’t priced at a dollar. So what the heck kind of meat is in that one Dollar burger? Tastes like beef to me!
Wendy’s, Subway for heavens sake! Hardees! They all have your whimpy little, low on the totem pole, beef burgers and then they have the high priced Angus Beef Burgers. And of course the Angus burger comes on the specialty bun. Now that last bastion of Americana has succumbed to the dreaded trend. Sonic has an Angus Bacon Cheeseburger! Oh the humanity of it all!
As I walk through the grocery stores, the food section of a Wal-Mart Supercenter, the Kroger supermarkets, SAMS Club, all I notice are the sections of meat. There is the assortment of steaks and roasts and ground beefs and then there is the section of the same except it proudly proclaims ANGUS BEEF is better. It is going to cost more that is for certain.
So this is what I found out after doing some digging around and snooping on the internet and asking the butchers.

Angus beef is the meat from a specific breed of cattle, generally referred to as Angus cattle. (There are different types of Angus cattle though, not just one specific breed.) The beef producers of this country are marketing Angus cattle as a superior beef source, just as different car manufacturers promote different brands as superior. Certified Angus Beef (C.A.B.) must be prime or choice grades only. Since many grocery stores sell lesser grades of beef, this establishes the Certified Angus Beef as a premium line, giving both the beef producer and the grocery store a chance for additional profits.
According to the National Cattleman's Beef Association, only about 8% of U.S. beef is entitled to the label "Certified Angus." Just because something is labeled "Angus" or "Black Angus" doesn't mean it's the same quality as "Certified Angus Beef." Angus beef is further differentiated by USDA grades such as "prime," "choice," and "select," giving us such labels as "Certified Angus Prime," indicating the best Certified Angus Beef.
There are Black Angus and Brown Angus but apparently it’s the Black Angus beef that has it origins in Scotland, that is far more superior. How now Brown Cow? How do you feel about that?
I am not a steak aficionado but I could actually care less about whether or not I am eating a superior ground up Certified Black Angus or a lowly store brand Hereford. When I want a burger I want a burger and I am not checking its pedigree. Just give me a big old patty of charbroiled beef well done. Slap it on a toasted bun along with lettuce and tomato, Heinz 57 and French fried potatoes. A big kosher pickle and and a cold glass of 7UP. 7UP! That is another thing that is hard to find now adays. Where the heck did that soft drink? Sprite is ok and I do the Dew at times. But there is nothing like a 7UP to wash done my plain ole beefy burger.
So people I challenge you to stand up and let your voice be heard. Ask what the deal is with the Angus beef. Where’s the BEEF? (and the 7Up?)
My Peculiar Aristocratic Title is:
Her Grace Lady Vonda the Infinite of Longer Interval
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