Note to Self: bubble wrap clothes might sell.

Vonda’s views
September 25, 2011

Note to Self: wonder how hard it would be to make myself an outfit out of bubble wrap and duct tape?

My phone tones out in the middle of the afternoon with text messages from my number 2 daughter wanting to know the progress of the mama dog and her litter of 8 puppies. The directive to take photos and post them on face books she can share that ‘HER’ puppies are so cute and fat gets to me. She is not the one that is traipsing outside to feed and water the large brood. But after several mishaps, I have finally passed that torch on to my husband.
The first tumble happened so fast he didn’t even see what happened. But there I was rolling down the incline in the yard, picking up grass and sticks and Lord only knows what else I rolled through before I came to a stop! Covered in mud, (I hope!) I got up and hobbled into the house and pulled off my shoe to see why it was hurting and there was a hole torn in my shoe and a long red scratch on my foot.

The next time I ventured out to feed and water them, I just poured the food over the fence and stuck the hose through the fence to fill their water tubs. I turned and stepped in a grass covered hole that one of them had dug prior to being fenced in.Down I went, this time hurtling head first for a rather large crepe myrtle tree. Not wanting to be knocked out cold with my head hung in this blooming bush gone wild, I twisted and missed the trunk and just missed the block retaining wall! More, muddy clothes, more sore muscles, more interesting bruises to watch grow more colorful!

Note to self: get some Oxy-clean and check on the price of bubble wrap.

The next day I just opened my bedroom window and poured the dog food out the window. The dogs didn’t seem to mind and I didn’t fall!

Daughter number two called and wanted me to drive down on Thursday to pick her up and bring her home since she doesn’t have Friday classes. She didn’t want to wait till Saturday to ride home with big sister. So I said ok.

Before I left, I decided to go to check on the puppies since they are getting quite mobile. I was standing on perfectly level ground right by the edge of my garage. There is a retaining wall and the fence and I was playing with the pups through the fence when I turned and wham! My foot caught on some little something and I fell between the lawn mower and one of the metal forms for hubby’s Christmas displays. This time my arms got the worst of it as I was caught between these two metal immovable objects and I must have severely bruised a rib because it’s rather touchy on the side with the biggest contusion.

I brushed off more mud and drove down to get the daughter who neglected to tell me that I would be waiting till midnight because of her social club stuff. I just went to my oldest daughter’s room, took some Tylenol and crashed for a few hours.
Note to self: you are too old to pull an all nighter!

My husband now is feeding dogs and I stay upstairs and watch from a window. But I can still do stupid really well. I suffer from dry eyes and constantly have to put artificial tear drops in. At night I use a gel in a tube. Tonight I grabbed my tube and it was instant agony! I discovered a whole higher register for my voice. My husband came running into the bathroom and was trying to figure out what was wrong, as I was blindly digging for the quart of eye wash. While washing my eye out Scott saw that I had picked up a tube of oral jel and that was what I had squeezed into my eye!
Note to self: Oral jel is not for eyes and it does not numb them! Please remember where you are putting all these notes because you keep doing stupid things! And bubble wrap goes no sale next week!