The Theology of Cancer

The Theology of Cancer
Vonda Tedford-Keon


A dear friend needed help and I answered her call today. I drove her to the Holy Ground that I will call the Clinic to see if they could ease her pain. As I sit here in the Clinic, I watch all of the people awaiting their treatments, each fighting the Enemy in his or her own way. There are those with lung cancer, breast and liver cancer and some that I have never heard of before. They are the very young and the very old and many ages in between. They are male and female, black and white. They are people and I watch them. Some will win and some will succumb to the cancer that has been steadily and sneakily taking over their bodies. There is one thing that cancer can’t do and that is it can’t take away the soul.

Just hearing the words, “you have cancer”, throws you into crisis mode. All of a sudden, those three little words shake your world. All of your neat little organized cubby holes and closets and nicely arranged desks become a house of cards that seem on the verge of collapse. Not only do you have to deal with the mental and emotional shock of the disease, but you must start dealing with the big question that starts looming: “Why ME Lord!” It screams out of your inner being. WHY? What have I done? What didn’t I do? What did I eat? What did I say? Was I bad?

If you live in the South, all through your religious upbringing you are taught that if you have lived the good and righteous life then all will be fine. You will live to be a wise old person and die peacefully in your sleep when your work here on earth is completed. But you know the dark thoughts will start to sneak into your mind; “I went to church every time the doors opened. I gave as much as I could of my time and talent and treasure. I’ve tried to obey God’s Law. It’s NOT FAIR! Why can’t I have a long, healthy, pain free life?” We sort of start sounding like Job did in the Old Testament don’t we?

And then, as if to pour salt into the wounded soul, there is always that one, well-meaning, misguided person that has the audacity to walk up to you and not so subtly say, that if you are ill with cancer then you must have done something to cause God to punish you. Not only are you dealing with pain, sickness, rollercoaster emotions, family and financial worries, now you start to feel let down by Abba, Father! “My God, My God, why have you abandoned me?”

Having cancer is the ultimate time for spiritual growth. Yes, I just said living with a cancer diagnosis is the perfect time for discovering the Theology of cancer. While you are struggling with pain from surgeries and sickness from treatments and side effects from medications, you are also working through the uncertainty and difficulty of your life. Your whole routine of day to day is shattered. Your belief system has to be realigned, rethought and refined. Old habits are set aside and new habits developed. You start seeing God in a new light.

Your relationship with God takes on a new meaning. The disease has become the catalyst to help you grow beyond just thought and belief. You begin to search, to yearn, for the first time, what your purpose in life is ultimately about. You begin to realize that God is refining you. You are walking through the fires of purification. Soon He will be able to see His reflection in you. You are becoming more spiritually focused. No, the theological question, “Why Me Lord?” is not answered, but this new found spirituality does create an intimate connection with the Source of all being. You find that you have become more heart sensitive, more attentive, more thankful for what you have been given. You start living in the present, not in the past that can’t be undone, and not in the future for which you have no control. You start to see how special the rising sun is and the glorious moon and the billions of sparkling stars that fill the indigo skies at night.

You find peace through the quietness of sitting in the softly falling rain and the gentle breeze as it wafts through the tender green leaves of the trees in early spring. You see the prayers of thanksgiving that nature provides as each new flower unfurls its blossoms and waves its leaves toward the heavens. You have slowly come to gain the knowledge that the path to God can be found in the beauty of His creation through nature and the music and art and poetry that it inspires. You see the face of God by looking into the faces of others and see His love. You finally realize that a relationship with God is not dependent on church doctrine or how well you have memorized the scriptures or how intelligent you are. Rather it is how you experience God in others and in His creation. He is showing you the multitude of blessing He is giving you.

After finding out you have cancer, you find that you are able to make do. You simplify your life and concentrate on what is dear to your heart. You live for the present and work to forget the past guilt and angers. You learn that you have the choice of how to respond to this ‘crisis’. You could get mad or you could get depressed. But you choose to use the pain and suffering for good. You remember that Christ’s Gift of Love for us was to suffer on the cross. So it is in suffering that you finally understand the gift of cancer and how it Graces you and brings you ever closer to God. And if you are one of the ones that is granted a longer life here on earth then use it wisely to tell others of how you were graced with a gift from God.
VT-K
June 20, 2006