Living with Cancer continued

How do I describe our mother?  Mom has always been a very determined person.  Born in 1932, she was raised by a single mom and her grand-parents in Pittsboro, MS. She was taught to shoot a gun, plow a garden with a stubborn mule, to work in the garden, gather eggs from brooding chickens and gather wood for that huge wood burning stove to cook.

Words that describe my Mom..
Cautious
Stubborn
determined
Compassionate
Helpful
Creative
Quiet
Reclusive
Proud
Spiritual
Intelligent
Long Suffering
Witty
Hilarious
Piss and Vinegar
Commanding
Loving
Aloof
Curious
Poker Faced
Sly
A Force to be reckoned with

Ever since this journey began with Mom, we have been trying to figure out the best way to do many things.  My sister and I of course are going to share the "duties" of caring for Mom.  we are going to Love her through this life into the next.

I think the hardest thing for us to deal with is that Mom has from the beginning not exactly come to terms with the fact that this time she is not going to be healed.  At least not healed in this world.

Its hard to see the day to day, minute to minute changes that appear as the cancer invades her brain. Its hard becoming a caretaker of a parent. My sister and I share the care.  We are texting each other telling about each time pain pills are taken, or what she has eaten  or when the atomic poops happen.  Its important to keep each other updated on what is going on.

Right at first we had to set time limits for visitors because of a few little issues that arose.  At first I was with Mom the majority of the time because my sister was working full time.  But this week that changed as my sister left her job to help share the care.  She comes in the morning after she has dropped her daughter off at school and is with Mom until its time to back to pick her up from after-school.  We change out at 4pm and I start cooking dinner for Mom and my husband and daughter.  They come down to eat and visit with her.  Then after they go home, Mom and I settle in for the night.
 We watch Monday Night Raw.  Mom loves to watch the WWE although we do get a bit peeved at the direction it seems to be going right now.  I take my computer down and even though I don't have internet in her house, I watch DVD's or work on my blog.  Sometimes I wear my headphones and listen to music while I read.  All the while I can watch Mom as she sleeps.  Eventually I get sleepy and stretch out on the couch for the night.

Hospice started on August 8th.  Lisa and I knew that we were going to need help quickly and we asked if it was time.  It was a shock to Mom when Hospice came in but she sees now how much it has helped.  If she needs something all we have to do is make a call and the nurse makes it happen.  The CNA that comes 3 days a week to help us bathe Mom has been a God-send.  We have learned many new skills!

I've got serious skills in transporting a wheelchair and getting Mom into the wheelchair or on the potty chair.   Its taken us a while but we have learned Mom's cues as to how to move.  she has had to learn to trust us too.  She took a couple of serious falls but thankfully did not break anything.  The pressure of the tumors have her perception of things skewed.  We finally had to develop a 'dance' of sorts to get to the potty seat or into the wheelchair.

Mom's independence is very important to her and even though she is dependent on us for everything, she still tries to push herself up out of the chair.  Mom doesn't like to be pulled on or bear-hugged so we have to stand just close enough to lightly touch but mainly to guide and then those small shuffling steps saying left right left right and then back up and slowly down to the seat.  I told Mom she was going to have to teach the dance to Lisa because I can't describe it.  So now we all know what to do.  But as with everything else, as the cancer progresses and Mom gets weaker she is having to literally lean on us more and more!

During the radiation treatments and for a time after, Mom began what we started referring to as the Atomic Poops.  Lord have mercy the odor of the poison that was exiting her body was awful.  Here's a hint for anyone that is a care giver and your patient has a potty chair.  place two to three plastic bags in that bucket and fill it with an inch of clumping kitty litter, preferably the kind for multiple cats.  It does an amazing job of absorbing the most obnoxious odors.  After the 'astronauts' have dropped and your patient is cleaned up and back in the bed, all you have to do is tie those bags up and take it outside to the dumpster.  I can assure you that no animal in its right mind will get into your trash! The trash man may not ever stop at your house ever again tho!

We use a lot of humor as we care for Mom.  some people might wonder about us, but we have to find something to laugh about in order to not cry. Crying is reserved for shower time.

to be continued.......