June 5, 2011
This past month has been one of the most hectic months I have had in a long while. Our youngest daughter graduated from high school and is standing on the edge of the nest testing her wings.
As my husband and I were sitting on the bleachers at our second daughter’s graduation, my thoughts began to wander. I began thinking back to 18 years earlier when she was born. She was not eager to come into this world but she did finally. She was born a laid back kid and that part hasn’t changed a bit as she has gotten older. Now she is graduated and busy getting her things packed up for her fall semester at the W.
I was a late in life mom, or as my dear doctor liked to remind me, I was an elderly first time mom. I thought he was trying to be cute with me till I read that women that wait till they are past a certain age are called that. So there I was at 36 having my first child who was due on my 37th birthday. And two years later I had daughter number two just 3 days shy of her big sisters 2nd birthday. For the record, I turned 39 right after her birth.
The first real instruction for Motherhood a woman gets is on the delivery table when her doctor is repeatedly saying, “PUSH! PUSH!” And push I did. I pushed those girls through the door to their first pre-school and to meet their kindergarten teacher for the first time; I’ve pushed them out the door so they would not be late for school. I pushed them to go and talk to people first and not wait for someone to walk over to them. Then I had to start pushing them to do the homework, to do the school projects, to be in dance recitals and get up on that stage and just do it no matter if your shoes do fly off your feet!
I thought of times when I had to push them both to get out of bed and get dressed, pushed them to read books, pushed them to write papers and pushed them to tell the truth when a lie would be so easy. I pushed them to learn to think on their own, to make decisions based on what they thought, not on what I told them they should think. I pushed them to stand on their own two feet. I pushed them to learn to wash their own clothes, to learn to cook, to pick out their own things to wear and to brush their hair. I pushed them through the doors of the church from the time they were a week old and going to church was never an optional activity in our home.
It has been very satisfying to me that both our daughters are pretty independent. They still have a long way to go but I know that with all my pushing, they are ready to leave the nest and make their own way into the world. Sure their little feathers are going to get ruffled and clipped but I hope that all my pushing will not have been in vain and that they will look within themselves to find the inner strength they will need to press on. They are strong in their convictions and faith. They have their goals set and are both figuring out just how to achieve those goals.
Other parents ask us if we are starting to feel ‘empty nest syndrome’ yet. I have say no we are not. I didn’t cry at graduation, that’s not my style. I am proud of both our daughters’ accomplishments. They are both like snowflakes, very different, yet somewhat alike on the surface----without the peacefulness!
So from pushing on the delivery table those long hot summers ago, to pushing through school, I feel like they are ready to be pushed out of the ‘nest’ and into the world. It’s not easy, but after the big push comes the reward; my finest accomplishments are going to fly. It’s amazing what God can accomplish in our lives, especially when we push.
Erin's last time being a high school altar server. She is now a W girl.
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