Death is a subject no one wants to think about. It’s not even a topic that that people want
to discuss. Most people avoid talking
about it, perhaps because they are afraid of the thought of dying or even being
with a loved one during their final moments here on earth. Most people will admit that they want a
peaceful death, or a quick one with no suffering. Others will say they are afraid of
death. Why? Because they don’t want to
think about the pain and suffering that the dying person is experiencing , or
is it because they have nothing to look forward to, or are they afraid they
will not have eternal life?
No one knows exactly what happens at the moment of death as
a person takes their last breath.
Christians believe that the Lord will meet them at that moment and they
will be welcomed into Paradise to be reunited with their loved ones that have
preceded them. Even the Good Thief on
the cross was forgiven by the Lord and promised Paradise even as the Lord was
suffering for our sins. So why is the
discussion of death and dying so taboo?
People are so afraid of death that they avoid being with
their loved ones in their final hours.
They abandon precious moments because they are incapable of dealing with
the truth of death. Death hurts. There is no doubt about that. The dying process is tremendously draining
emotionally and physically for the person dying and for the care givers. My sister Lisa and I know this well as do the
other family members that are involved with us in the caring of our
Mother/sister/grandmother. We are
experiencing a rare gift in Moms’ final journey that some will find depressing and
at times macabre.
The raw truth of death hurts. Everything that is not real is
stripped away when someone is dying. It
is in dying that you become the most real you will ever be…..More real than you
have ever been. For the caregivers, they
have their layers of being stripped away also as they discover who they really
are. At the end of life, there is no
point in fearing the inevitability of death.
Death is the one thing that we cannot escape. I think that people that are ‘afraid’ to die
are afraid to really live and love.
Being here with our Mother as she is reaching the end of her
life has shown us the beauty and peace that comes out of the horrible suffering
and pain that she is experiencing in her battle with brain cancer. Caring for
her in her last days has been a test of our maturity and hers. This is a journey that she has to do
herself. We can’t make it for her. We will be making our own transition from
this world to the next one day.
Death should not be proud.
It is nothing. It is not the
end. Yes, it is the end of life as we
know it on this earth but it is the beginning of our new life with the Lord and to be reunited in
Heaven with our loved ones. As a
Christian I cling to that thought as I watch my sweet Mom sleep. I cling to the thoughts that soon she will be
healed by the Lord and will walk again and be pain free and whole again and be reunited
with our Dad. He was the love of her
life and she has missed him terribly for the past 18 years since he passed.
Mom senses her life is ebbing away as her strength is weakening. The tumors in her brain are causing her to
lose her vision. She doesn't say
anything about it but we catch her covering the left eye trying to make sense
of what she can see. Her appetite is
waning and she is drinking less and less.
She can’t stand or walk any longer as her body doesn't obey the commands
she is giving it. It’s very frustrating
for her yet she still has that precious sweet smile and her wit is still sharp
and she can still laugh when my sister and I do something that amuses her. She doesn't want to take the pain pills and
she balks at times and gives us that “mom” look but she knows we are just
trying to keep her comfortable. She
understands that her time is short and she is not going to ‘win’ this
fight. But she also has the hope of what
is to come.
Is this easy for my sister and I? NO! it is the hardest thing we have ever
done. We are grieving already seeing our
precious mother slowly dying a little more each day. We are angry that this horrible disease wasn’t
found earlier when all the signs were there.
We have to find ways to release the anger. We are sad at the thought of not seeing and
talking to our mom everyday like we have pretty much every day of our
lives. The withdrawals that face us will
be overwhelming at times I am sure. But neither
of us will have any regrets of the sacrifices that we are making for her. She knows that we are doing everything that
we can to care for her. She knows that
we love her more than we can express.
She knows she will not draw her last breath alone. She knows we are not afraid. We are facing that coward called death with
our heads held high as we hold our sweet mothers’ hands in ours .
This is not the end for her we cling to the promise that she will be beginning her life in heaven healed and reunited with our dad. When it is
our turn to face death, she and our dad will be there to meet us when we cross
over.
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